We left off with Tony taking the cooler home with a turkey and instructions to keep the cooler. Fast forward to that Christmas at Mom's house. We did the usual stuff; food, presents and general merry making.
Sometime during the evening, my Bro causally told me that he has the blue cooler to give back to us. I then reminded him that he was to keep it, that we did not want it back. For most people, it should have ended there.
Not for Tony.
This is the important part of this saga and I want to point this out. The blue cooler was freely given and received. A contract was made. We gave it them (don't think you are getting off the hook here Carrie) and they took, understanding the terms of the deal.
So you can appreciate our surprise, when that night, we unloaded the truck and found the blue cooler. I believe that was the time it became “The Blue Cooler.” Again, let me point out that we were the victims. We were the ones hoodwinked (I'm so glad I got to use that word...love it). How did this happen? Why did it happen?
I called my Bro for an explanation. All he could tell me was "Your name was on the damn thing with permanent marker. It is yours." Yes, he did sound very self satisfied. Even proud of what they had done. Here is the most important part is that they were in Portland. They believed they were safe from my justice. Safe from my righteous anger.
But they were wrong. So very wrong.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
The Blue Cooler Wars-Opening Salvo
Members of my family who read this blog have asked me if the Blue Cooler will make an appearance. The answer has always been yes, but I wanted to tell the stories right. Those of you that know the saga will have to be patient as I write about the events and people that have made this the epic struggle what it is today.
It started small, like most things do, in 2004 around October. My brother and his wife-to-be Carrie came up to visit us from Oregon. I don't remember why and it really is not important. I am sure, however, that I handed my Bro his ass in Mario Party that trip.
Somehow the conversation turned to Thanksgiving, and to the fact that Tony had not grabbed a turkey yet. Well my wife at the time, being the efficient shopper that she was, had purchased a couple of birds at a good sale price and stashed them in the freezer and asked if he wanted one of them. He said that he would but he had a long drive home and was worried about the turkey thawing out.
Amazingly, the stars had aligned and the answer was shipped to us the week before. Every year we ordered a bushel of Hatch green chilies from New Mexico. We actually would spit an order with my then mother-in-law in Illinois. She would buy the chilies and send us our half. That year our order was sent in a heavily taped blue cooler. She wrote our address on the lid with a permanent marker and affixed the shipping label on the side.
After receiving said cooler, we were trying to figure out what to with it. We had four other coolers and didn't need or want the blue one. So we offered it to my Bro for him to put his bird in for the trip. We also told him that the cooler was his to do with as he pleased.
So we loaded the turkey in the cooler, packed it with ice and sent him on his way believing that we helped Tony have a great Thanksgiving and solved our blue cooler problem.
If it only stopped there....
To be continued.
It started small, like most things do, in 2004 around October. My brother and his wife-to-be Carrie came up to visit us from Oregon. I don't remember why and it really is not important. I am sure, however, that I handed my Bro his ass in Mario Party that trip.
Somehow the conversation turned to Thanksgiving, and to the fact that Tony had not grabbed a turkey yet. Well my wife at the time, being the efficient shopper that she was, had purchased a couple of birds at a good sale price and stashed them in the freezer and asked if he wanted one of them. He said that he would but he had a long drive home and was worried about the turkey thawing out.
Amazingly, the stars had aligned and the answer was shipped to us the week before. Every year we ordered a bushel of Hatch green chilies from New Mexico. We actually would spit an order with my then mother-in-law in Illinois. She would buy the chilies and send us our half. That year our order was sent in a heavily taped blue cooler. She wrote our address on the lid with a permanent marker and affixed the shipping label on the side.
After receiving said cooler, we were trying to figure out what to with it. We had four other coolers and didn't need or want the blue one. So we offered it to my Bro for him to put his bird in for the trip. We also told him that the cooler was his to do with as he pleased.
So we loaded the turkey in the cooler, packed it with ice and sent him on his way believing that we helped Tony have a great Thanksgiving and solved our blue cooler problem.
If it only stopped there....
To be continued.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Bowling Is Not A Sport
I have never been the best athlete around. That’s not to say I suck at everything. I think that I play a good goalkeeper and I can hold my own in basketball as long as you don’t mind that I can’t dribble, shoot, jump or that I’m only 5’9”. I do play some mean defense though.
This fact makes it weird to know that Jordan seems to think that I’m the great athlete ever. My brother Tony tries to disabuse Jordan of this belief whenever we all get together as much as he can.
Jordan and I watch football, baseball and some basketball when we have the time. He wants to know everything and asks millions of questions, all which I know the answer to naturally. Even the crazy eight year old questions. “Why do they get four downs to get a first down? How come it’s called a touchdown? Did he just make a homerun?”
So in my house, I’m the greatest and smartest athletic person in the world. Even sports video games are dominated by me. All of this makes the next part really, really hard to admit.
I lost to a five year old at bowling. Sure he had the bumpers up and I was dealing with the plague (one of those is a lie) but it still hurts. Holy crap it hurts. I want you all to know that Ben, the five year old, is an animal. In fact, he beat everybody except for Keith, his dad.
Of course the kids, Ben’s brother Conner and Jordan, were having way too much fun to notice anything and my sports reign is still alive in Jordan’s mind. The day he figures out the truth is going to suck. Might even feel as bad as losing to a five year old at, well anything.
Oh, in order to able to use the photo of Ben, his Mom Rachel made me write this:
I lost to Rachel too. She beat me by like a bazillion pins. It was terrible. She is the greatest bowler I have ever been around. I was blessed to be in her presents. Is that enough Rach?
This fact makes it weird to know that Jordan seems to think that I’m the great athlete ever. My brother Tony tries to disabuse Jordan of this belief whenever we all get together as much as he can.
Jordan and I watch football, baseball and some basketball when we have the time. He wants to know everything and asks millions of questions, all which I know the answer to naturally. Even the crazy eight year old questions. “Why do they get four downs to get a first down? How come it’s called a touchdown? Did he just make a homerun?”
So in my house, I’m the greatest and smartest athletic person in the world. Even sports video games are dominated by me. All of this makes the next part really, really hard to admit.
I lost to a five year old at bowling. Sure he had the bumpers up and I was dealing with the plague (one of those is a lie) but it still hurts. Holy crap it hurts. I want you all to know that Ben, the five year old, is an animal. In fact, he beat everybody except for Keith, his dad.
Of course the kids, Ben’s brother Conner and Jordan, were having way too much fun to notice anything and my sports reign is still alive in Jordan’s mind. The day he figures out the truth is going to suck. Might even feel as bad as losing to a five year old at, well anything.
Oh, in order to able to use the photo of Ben, his Mom Rachel made me write this:
I lost to Rachel too. She beat me by like a bazillion pins. It was terrible. She is the greatest bowler I have ever been around. I was blessed to be in her presents. Is that enough Rach?
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