High School-20 Years Later

So Wendy and I went to our 20 year high school reunion last weekend and I have a few random thoughts about it.

My batting average of facial or name recognition of people was about three for every ten, a respectable .300 average. Well, it sucked to have to tell the other seven people “yeah, I have no idea.”

Alcohol didn’t help with names but it helped in other ways. There is nothing a Jello shot can’t make better.

The great planners of the shindig had name tags on lanyards for everybody but I don’t think they thought far enough however. So ladies, I want you to know that I was trying to look at the name tag on your chest, not your…well chest. Really.

Some high school cliques will never apparently die, even though they really should.

I *don’t* dance, ever. I don’t care how many models Wendy sends over to try and drag me to the dance floor, it will not happen. And this is for the benefit of everybody else. So instead of complaining, just thank me.

Music from the 80’s is still the best. Ever. Period.

Chick mullets were kinda cool back then. I’m still on the fence about girls having them now. Dude mullets are still super awesome! I will still try to grow one despite the ever constant threat of being shaved in the middle of the night.

Lastly, I want to thank everybody who came up and told me how much they like my stuff. It was appreciated as much as it was a surprise. Thank you. I write this stuff mostly because I like to crack myself up. But I do have what standup comedians refer to as the brain damage that makes them want to have other people like them, so hearing the positive feedback was really cool. Thanks again.

Onion Goggles Are Badass!

My sister-in-law Carrie introduced Wendy and me to one of the greatest inventions ever; the Onion Goggles! They are used to keep your eyes from tearing up while chopping onions. And they look super cool. Here is a picture of my niece Ava wearing them.


We loved them so much that Carrie gave Wendy a pair for Christmas. Even though they are Wendy's, she "lets" me chop the onions so I can use them. The one drawback is now Jordan thinks that if he isn't wearing the goggles, he can't look at onions without his eyes burning. Even if a chef is chopping them on TV he turns away and screams. It's awesome! You can't not look cool while wearing them as Jordan shows us here.


I have a huge man-crush on Nathan Fillion. Not only do I not deny it, I celebrate it proudly! Granted, Wendy is a bit creeped out by this but it isn't really the strangest thing she has to deal with when it comes to my nerdliness. Because of this bromance, I picked up the first season of Castle on DVD and began watching it. When I reach the third episode, look who is wearing the Onion Goggles!


After I saw this, all I could think was "Holy crap, Nathan Fillion is as cool as my family!" True story.