I Meet A Dog and Ruin Her Day

I met a new dog today and while we got along really well, there might have been some miscommunication somewhere. This post is told from the dog's perspective.

A nice man came to my house today. He smelled like cheese and had a big beard. Big Beard Cheese Man petted me and scratched my ears and rubbed my belly. He called me a "good doggy" and let me lick his hand. He tasted like Doritos. His voice was loud but sounded nice. There weren’t any mean tones at all. I liked Big Beard Cheese Man.

Because I liked Big Beard Cheese Man so much, I wanted him to see my favorite toy: My Ball. I have had My Ball forever. My Ball is never far from me. This is my most favoritest toy of All Time. I thought that Big Beard Cheese Man would think My Ball was the bestest too because he was happy to pet and scratch and rub and talk to me. He was a nice man. So when I brought My Ball to him and showed it to him, he had to think My Ball was the bestest because he talked nice and scratched my ears.

But then he tried to take My Ball. He was a nice man; why would a nice man try to take My Ball from me? I bit down on My Ball as hard as I could but Big Beard Cheese Man was very strong. He was still talking nice but he sounded more excited. I didn't want him to take my ball, so I tried to tell him. I growled at him. All that did was make him laugh and pull harder. Big Beard Cheese Man was trying to take my most favoritest toy ever and he was having fun? I thought he was a nice man.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't keep Big Beard Cheese Man from taking My Ball. After he took My Ball, he called me a "good doggy" and petted me and scratched my ears. He was talking nice and acting nice and I could almost think that he was a nice man but…he TOOK MY BALL.  A nice man wouldn't take My Ball. Big Beard Cheese Man then held My Ball up high. He was still talking nice but was sounding even more excited than ever.

Then, Big Beard Cheese Man threw My Ball. He just reached back and threw it. He is very big and strong and he threw My Ball really far. Really, really far. Why would a nice man throw My Ball, my bestest and most favoritest toy of All Time? My Ball bounced across the yard and landed in the bushes on the far side on the yard. Why would he throw My Ball in the bushes? All I could do was stare at Big Beard Cheese Man.

Big Beard Cheese Man is not a nice man. At all. Now I has a sad.