What I Learned At The 3 Day 2010

Wendy and I participated in the Susan K Komen Walk for the Cure last weekend. We shared an amazing experience with 2600 other walkers and 375 crew members. And I learned a bunch of things that will share with you, the lucky readers, right now.



What is really creepy any other day, is just perfectly normal during The 3 Day weekend

If my buddy Dirk (of course I changed his name to protect him, you’re welcome Paul) were to sit along side the road and cheer and high five thousands of women with a sign that said “Hugs $1.00” on a white van with tinted windows that has women’s underwear hanging on it, Dirk would be in jail. But at The 3 Day, he’s an inspiration. In The 3 Day’s defense, Dirk should probably be in jail anyway.

We will take and eat anything along the road

There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of people standing on the road cheering on the walkers. They are awesome! They take time from their weekend to cheer on complete strangers. They hand out stickers. They make signs. They make the long miles just a little shorter.


And they have food. All kinds of food. There are cookies and candy and chips and crackers. The kids hand out water and Gatorade. Red Licorice seemed to be the most common.

Even though your Mom hammered into your brain don’t take candy from strangers, if they are cheering and wearing pink, you take the chocolate chip cookie and you enjoy it.

One exception is the dude handing out brownies in a shoe box at camp. He was a bit creepy too and might be an exception to the thing above as well.

The Fire Fighters are very popular
Big surprise considering that of the nearly 3000 people at the Seattle walk, 90 percent were women. These guys walked all 60 miles in full gear with an air tank on their backs.
The cops working the street crossings were also talked about quite a bit. I guess it’s a uniform thing.

I love Wendy wearing pigtails
And she should do it more often. I’m just saying.

I got stung by a bee
I didn’t learn anything here, I just wanted to tell y’all that.

Your feet aren’t the only thing that will get a workout
Your legs, feet and toes will be hurt. But they are not the only things that will be tested. Your bladder will also scream at you. You have to hydrate. You have to drink a lot. You spend all day walking and drinking. The pit stops have tons of port-a-potties and huge lines to them.

On a side note; watching woman deal with the port-a-potties is really fun from a construction guy’s perspective. On Day One it was all “gross” and “I’m not sitting on that." Day three, they were jumping on them like pros. This is one of the few times that being a guy at this event works in my favor. No seat sitting. Hehehe.
Don’t sign up for Karaoke unless you can bring it

The ladies that do it are incredibly good. I dabble in singing while playing Rock Band 2 on the Xbox 360 and felt that I might try it out. Wendy suggested that I listen for the first year and then make the decision and I’m so glad I did. Although, I think that if I brought a little more rock to the night it can make up for my lack of skills.

If you don’t like the Black Eyed Peas…

…you just might punch the DJ. The Peas are marketing geniuses with their music. Every event from the Super Bowl down to my birthday party plays The Black Eyed Peas anthem music. With Let’s Get it Started and I Gotta Feeling, The 3 Day has it covered.

As time goes by, chivalry starts to go out the window
When we started walking, I made sure that I was always between Wendy and the street. When we crossed or made a turn, I would walk around Wendy to be street side.
By the end of the day, that stopped happening. It just took too much energy and more steps than I had in me. Sorry Baby.
Blisters are no joke

Anyone who walked The 3 Day knows this. Blisters ended my second day 12 miles short. The two end toes on my right foot ended up becoming one big blister each. Not just the bottom of the toe but the side and end. I have spent 30 years of my life working on the calluses with soccer and work boots. To have a blister form under them was very weird for me.
As much as blisters mess with walkers, the medical staff is amazing at dealing with them. After I had mine lanced and taped, they did not bother me at all on the last day.
Body Glide is your friend
Bring two or three with you. I used so much by the end of the 3 days, I was a giant stick of Body Glide. Chafing is a big a problem especially in those hard to reach areas. One of the things I haven’t learn yet is how to apply the stuff to those hard to reach areas in the cozy confines of a port-a-potty.

If you have a soul, you will be moved by opening and closing

I learned this last year, my first 3 Day event. The emotion with this group of people is unbelievable. Everybody has a story; it could be a wife or a sister, maybe a mother or daughter. Maybe someone is walking for her best friend or it is woman who had just been diagnosed. There are 3000 stories and all of them are moving.

I get choked up every time I hold that shoe in the air as the survivors walk in to the stadium. Some of them have bald heads, others are 20 year survivors but all of them bring inspiration to us. The Survivors are the Rock Stars.

One last thing that I learned:
Every 68 seconds somewhere in the world, a woman dies of Breast Cancer
That means while you have been reading this, another woman has lost her battle with this disease. So when people ask me why I want to walk 60 miles in 3 days, this is why. This is why we walk, this is why we crew.
This is why we will continue to walk until we find cure.

If You Don't Die, Get Your Ass Down To The Couch

Last Saturday around 3:46 in the AM we lost power. I remember the time vividly because I almost died.

I woke up still very groggy to notice that the window fan was off. I remember thinking that it was weird that the fan wasn’t going. Wendy ALWAYS has the fan on. Always. OK, whatever.

Why is Wendy’s Zune so loud through her pillow speaker? Is that Michael Buble? Wait, why it is so quiet in here. It’s too quite.

*Gasp* So, I start to think *gasp* that something is *gasp* wrong *gasp.

Holy crap! I’m choking! I rip off my CPAP mask and take a big breath. For those of you that don’t know, a CPAP is a machine that pushes air through a six foot tube into a mask over my nose into my throat to help my sleep apnea.

Wendy looks over and said, “I was wondering how long it would take.”

“How long it would take for what?! For me to choke to death?”

“No," she said exasperated. "How long it would take for you to notice you couldn’t get any air."

It’s about this time that my sleepy brain puts it all together; “Baby, did we lose power?”

“Figured it out did you?” So that mystery was solved. Without power my CPAP doesn’t work very well. Without my CPAP, I get banished to the couch to snore away so Wendy can sleep.

Omnibus Post Part 2

Omnibus post again! I know you’re excited so here we go

Things I Never Thought I Would Ever Say

I have said and done a crap ton of dumbass things in my life (I wonder what would happen if I spray this Binaca up my nose) but since Jordan has entered my world I have said the weirdest things. Some of my favorites are listed below. This come from my Twitter feed @J_Beaching (shameless plug).

Jordan wanting to slide down a slide that has been sitting in 90 degree heat all day: “Fine go for it but if you burn your butt, don’t come crying to me!”

Playing soccer: “Use your head or your chest but don't try to stop the ball with your private parts.”

Asking about my Android phone: "Joe, are there such a thing as golden eagles?" I don't know, I'll look it up. Yes, there golden eagles. Want to see a picture? "Yes! Cool! Joe, is there anything Android doesn't know?"

On playing Madden 2009: “You need to throw the ball to different receivers. If you keep throwing it to the same guy I….wait! You just scored again?!"

On anatomy: For the love of God, please don’t pinch your scrotum and pull it in different directions. It hurts me when you do that. Fine, I didn’t really say that one but I was thinking it. Luckily for me, the little man in my head that stops me from saying crazy things was awake at that time.

A list of stuff I Have Said and Done

To Continue a Thought From Above

On my taste in music part 1: “Dude, Creed rocks! They are so hard core!”

On my taste in music part 2: “Watch out for Chumbawamba, they are going to hit it big.”

On skiing: “I bet I can jump off this cliff and make it down to the bottom.”

On me being an accidental racist: At Subway I asked the nice Mexican lady, "Is the white cheese American?"

Random Music Video

I love this video. To bad Flight of the Conchords has been shut down by HBO. Very funny.



Wendy's Dad

Gordon scares the hell out of me. He’s Grizzly Adam but quite. He talks deliberately and with a straight unerring monotone. Whenever I’m in a room with him, I feel like I’m back in junior high meeting him for the first time.

And he’s got a shotgun shell that says “Joe” on it. I have almost convinced myself that it could be a different Joe. Until he told me that yes it’s for me.

He’s a conservative, and I’m a wild-eyed liberal. At least we have a truce about politics. He might even respect me for standing up for myself and telling him my opinion. Or, he’s just bidding his time and has that shell in his pocket.

A little Imagination Can Be A Funny Thing

Jordan has a rich imagination and Wendy loves to encourage him. I love to play along and see just how far out we can take him. So when he started to pretend that he was going to give us breakfast in bed, Wendy asked for a banana, some chocolate and nuts. She then asked how he was going to melt the chocolate, “I will melt in my hands momma.”

Wendy makes a face. "Sounds a bit gross but OK. Where are the nuts to dip the chocolate covered banana?"

"I'm sorry Momma but I'm out of nuts. Do you want broccoli instead?"

He then came to my side “What can I get you Joe?”

“I would like some pterodactyl wings please.”

“OK.” He leaves our room for minute and returns with a paper bag, hands it to me and says, “Your pterodactyl wings sir.”

He starts to walk away and I yell “Wait a minute! Where’s my barbecue sauce? How do you expect me to eat dactyl wings without barbecue sauce?”

“OK.” Again another minute goes by and he returns with an empty cup. Jordan than pours the nonexistent contents from the cup into my paper bag. “Here’s the sauce Joe.”

He tries to walk away again and I yell “Where’s the slaw? How can I eat dactyl wings without coleslaw?” This is when Wendy chimes in.

“What do you mean you want coleslaw? You hate coleslaw.”

I look at her. “That’s the part you have a problem with? Barbecue pterodactyl wings were OK but me eating coleslaw taxes the limits of your suspension of disbelief?”