My Geekiness is Getting in the Way of My Nerdiness

First off, I need to credit Patton Oswalt for that line. He is one of my favorite comics and I follow his nerd philosophy.

Let me set the scene for you; October 2 is Jordan’s Birthday and we (I mean Wendy but because she asked for my opinion I will take some credit too) are planning the party. We decide that Jordan gets to invite three friends for a Mario/slumber party. I haven’t asked Wendy yet, but I’m going to say that the Mario Party part of the evening will be sans Jagermeister. Not much of a Mario Party without hard liquor if you ask me. Alas, I was not asked.

Next, we ask Jordan who he would like to invite to his slumber party. The first name out of mouth is Karen, the blond hygienist that works with Wendy. After we told him that he has to pick three friends from school or daycare, he said Blake. We figured on Blake already and are now feeling good that the process is moving forward.

The second name? Megan Fox. OK, the party is starting to look up. I’m on board with the whole thing now and rethinking the Jagermeister.

Sadly, Wendy crushes both of our dreams and rules out Megan Fox. I was willing to negotiate, we invite Megan and Wendy can invite Mathew Fox. Fair’s fair right?

So we finally settle on three names and we move on the party supplies. Wendy takes Jordan shopping to find Mario decorations. They can’t find them anywhere. I don’t know if the Geek Gene is hereditary or is an airborne contagion, but I think Jordan is growing one. Plan B’s decorations; Batman. Don’t give me the hooey about seven year olds and Batman, I know this kid will be reading Batman comics in his 30’s.

No big deal, we have a Mario Party and Batman napkins. Who the frick cares? I haven’t delved too deeply into Wendy’s past to see if there have been other Geeks in her life. However, if I had to guess, I would say no. There is a definite burden spending time with a Geek that she seems to be finding out about. Having to go to all of the comic book movies, having to hear how well the comic book movies followed the source material and being told the history of the characters in the movie no matter how small of a part they had.

I’m sure Wendy thought that making the invitations wouldn’t be a big deal. And it wasn’t until she decided to cross-pollinate genres. She found a cool picture of the Mario Party gang to print on the front of the invitations. She wrote out the “what, where and when” stuff. Put a nice pic of Mario on the inside. All very cool and not at all offensive.

Where she crossed the line is putting the Bat Signal on the cover with the Mario Party stuff. Comic book heroes and video game plumbers are not to be mixed.

Ever.

Period.

I told Wendy as much and she had this look on her face like I was beating a bunch of kittens with a bag filled with puppies. She couldn’t understand my consternation. I then explained to her that you can mix comics together. Superman fighting The Hulk is cool. Lex Luthor hanging out with Magneto is a bad guy dream team.

Video game cartoons can’t be created on the same invite with time-tested comic book legends. It’s taboo to the Geek Code and to the Nerd Code for that matter. Where does it end? Will she Photoshop Batman Riverdancing with Princess Peach whilst expounding the virtue of having the Public Option in the new Health Care legislation?

And here is where my nerdiness collides with the geekiness. I’m a comic geek and a video game nerd. All that stuff swirls inside of me and works just fine for the most part. Why can’t they be put together on birthday party invitation for a soon-to-be seven year old? What's the harm? I don’t know! But you can’t!

Star Wars Geeks don’t hang with Star Trek nerds. You just don’t cross the streams.



Wendy needs to understand this. Soon. She is making me crazy. I think she is doing on purpose too.